Should I go see a movie by myself?
THAT is a question for the ages, if ever there was one.
Or I could memorize the insertions and functions of all the arm, forearm, and intrinsic hand muscles...the only things I have left to memorize on this test. I already did everything else, and everything else is a LOT...probly enough to pass the test. Passing means a 70 or above mind.
These are the dilemmas that occupy my mind. What to eat. What to do. What to study. That's about it.
I wish I had the where-with-all to go exercise, to call a (new) friend and see if they want to see a movie or eat or hell, go to the cadaver lab even. Or to sit on the porch with a beer and a smoke and play the guitar. Or write a letter, or paint. Or walk down to the coffee shop and read something crazy, like Hemingway. I don't.
I got something in the mail today. From a friend. And I was sitting there so blissfully happy looking at it..and all the sudden i just started crying, really crying. I realized the crying was feeling so good...why? I didn't realize, till now, that since I have been here, almost 4 weeks now, I have been holding my breath emotionally, being brave. Holding my breath being brave. And dammit if being so alone and cognizant of hard things for one second didn't just feel pretty damn good! Its been a lot, right? Super lame relationship times, plus leaving my home, plus missing everybody, plus being around strangers EVERY DAY, plus being super alone in a house far away, plus starting a really difficult and intense school program. I think I just figured the best way to deal with it was to just not deal with it. At all. Ha. I am just like a child sometimes...just like. "Charlotte!"
THAT is a question for the ages, if ever there was one.
Or I could memorize the insertions and functions of all the arm, forearm, and intrinsic hand muscles...the only things I have left to memorize on this test. I already did everything else, and everything else is a LOT...probly enough to pass the test. Passing means a 70 or above mind.
These are the dilemmas that occupy my mind. What to eat. What to do. What to study. That's about it.
I wish I had the where-with-all to go exercise, to call a (new) friend and see if they want to see a movie or eat or hell, go to the cadaver lab even. Or to sit on the porch with a beer and a smoke and play the guitar. Or write a letter, or paint. Or walk down to the coffee shop and read something crazy, like Hemingway. I don't.
I got something in the mail today. From a friend. And I was sitting there so blissfully happy looking at it..and all the sudden i just started crying, really crying. I realized the crying was feeling so good...why? I didn't realize, till now, that since I have been here, almost 4 weeks now, I have been holding my breath emotionally, being brave. Holding my breath being brave. And dammit if being so alone and cognizant of hard things for one second didn't just feel pretty damn good! Its been a lot, right? Super lame relationship times, plus leaving my home, plus missing everybody, plus being around strangers EVERY DAY, plus being super alone in a house far away, plus starting a really difficult and intense school program. I think I just figured the best way to deal with it was to just not deal with it. At all. Ha. I am just like a child sometimes...just like. "Charlotte!"
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