Sometimes I just get tired of fighting everything being about loss. Sometimes I just get tired. I have to fight, on facebook, because there are people I can't talk to, people who can't talk to me, who are lost. But still there...
I have to fight at java, or in the old city, or in Knoxville, because there are people I can't talk to and who can't speak to me, people I used to love, I still love.
I have to fight on Sundays, because there are places I can't go, where there are people I still love.
I have to fight in my home, in my bed, in my car and in the shower, in the night and in the mornings, in minutes and hours and on vacations, holidays, birthdays and every other fucking day, because there is a person who I can't talk to, that I used to love, that I still love, that is gone, not there.
I am twenty-seven and doing much better, thank you, but there are times oftener than I know that I would give all I have to not be fighting any more, to be gone all the way. So tired.
2 comments:
i am sorry that you have to fight so hard all the time. i wish i could fight for you. wish you were closer. damn the giant puddle and its choppy waters.
Praise God for "seasons" in life. In every aspect of life we are able to see Truth in Faith which allows us to Hope for a brighter day. In the story of Abraham, we are called to things in life that we don't understand, BUT through our "faithful" struggle(s) there IS reward. We are a people of Faith and are promised... May your sun shine brighter soon!
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