"I'll cry forever"

So weird. Last week, i got divorced, 100,000 people died, and i read about mother teresa and how she struggled. shew. I heard from God, about some important things, I made changes in how i live, that are hard, that hurt, and I feel like a different person. I play the electric guitar now, (shout out: JDC trucking), and drop classes because I need to be less busy so that I can spend more time letting God "work" on me. I go to church. I sit around with christian kids and talk about semi-meaningless things. I listen. I value time with my family more, and time with friends. I am in a Microbiology class, which involves wearing a lab coat and goggles, I have $0 in my checking account, and I have black hair. All these things are good, and some are painful.

I was speaking with a good friend (who doesn't live here) via gchat this morning and she said that someone told her during a prayer meeting whilst praying for Haiti not to cry, that "she couldn't carry that burden..". And she said to me, "100,000 people died, and they were telling me not to cry?"

-pause-

"I'll cry forever."

Me too, I will too, its only right- The darkness and hardness of living, for me and for the Haitians, for India and for Jon, for the inmates at Knox County Correctional Facility, for abused wives, and children, for the homeless and the disabled and the poor and the ill and for YOU, it is not to be swept under the rug, ignored, or desperately avoided. Oh God! Let us cry! Have MERCY on us Lord and let us weep with grief!

Mother Teresa carried the burden that Jesus gave her, his burden, she carried it too, and she wept, she lived in a dark place often, but not without joy...just without stupidity i guess.

The things that I dream of are changing... bit by bit. Perhaps he is doing it.