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By: Faith Amelingmeier

A short sad story.

UPDATE:
Due to having to re-add A&P II to my schedule, (that is long sad story) I now work till 5:30 on Wednesdays and Fridays.

Abraham..father of the faithful, friend of God.

Church at TCAK was SO GOOD on sunday! My brain and heart are filled to overflowing with desire to be brave, humble, honest, etc for God! These are bits of what Jamie Goldenburg taught, and my personal story in kind:

Important trials in everyone's life that happen between them and God:

1. Fervor (Separation)
2. Reliance (Circumstances)
3. Honesty
4. Humility
5. Courage
6. Greed

1. Fervor
Abraham was asked to leave his family and home country and just leave... travel... away, alone, to an unknown place... He had to separate from what he knew and just go on a "word" from God. His family probably thought he was crazy...they were probably angry. His wife...she probably cried. His aunts and uncles and cousins and father and mother... they didn't want him to go, I don't think.

I think as far as right now goes... the Lord has asked me to be a nurse. To go to a new school, (yuck!), to take science classes, to pursue a career that I never, ever would have thought of before, and throw the path of my life into a radically different and new direction. Its cool. I only have to separate from the person I was before... And having lost my whole world kind of makes this easier. I feel like pretty regularly he asks me to separate from things. To go to new and scary and uncomfortable places. He has asked me, in the long run, to live in the 3rd world. Hmm. He has also asked lately that I let him heal me... which involves letting down my guard, which I haven't done for a long... long time.

Thats all for today... I will do another soon. Anyone else want to write their own story of when God has asked for fervor from them, now or in the past? If you like, I would love to hear.

more, even

My thoughts are many and scattered.

Went to the tuesday night small group last night. Brittany E began crying and praying for Haiti... Michael K then asked God to help us give up our self-consumed burdens so that we could feel His burdens..for Haiti... Rachel B prayed then that the church in the u.s. of a. would wake up and heed the call to adopt orphans from haiti, thousands and thousands and thousands of orphans from haiti... people sobbed... asking God for mercy for that country, that He would roam the streets like a search and rescue aid worker looking for the lost, trapped, and broken... that He would appear to the 380,000 plus orphans in dreams and visions...sitting with them while they wait for water, surgery, food. That the people would ask for Him. We sang and cried and beseeched the Father and Physician to be father and physician to millions sleeping under sheets and cardboard...

I thought of the friend mentioned in the last post, who does not live here, and wished they could have been here. I was glad I dropped Anatomy and was there at the Banks house instead of in class.

There was another earthquake at 6:03 this morning, of 6.1 magnitude.

Spoke with a friend yesterday who says that he had to "talk his sister out of going" to Haiti as a relief nurse, that he was worried about how traumatizing it would be to her. That there were gangs. That she has no experience with 3rd world aid relief. That it might be difficult for her emotionally.

Read a stat on CNN this morning that up to 20,000 people are dying every day in Haiti due to lack of sufficient emergency medical personnel.

Feel like i'm gonna lose my mind when considering how crazy the above two paragraphs are when compared, side by side.

I would like to sink into and lose myself in pretty photographs, in good coffee and art, in books and in love, by firesides and on mountain tops, hiking or walking or yoga or bikes... But I can't. I know I am still here, just as I have always been, but my heart groans to be there...I ache to know Jesus more in his and theirs and my own suffering...

NOTE: I need a roommate. A nice one with no cat.

Thank you for reading.

"I'll cry forever"

So weird. Last week, i got divorced, 100,000 people died, and i read about mother teresa and how she struggled. shew. I heard from God, about some important things, I made changes in how i live, that are hard, that hurt, and I feel like a different person. I play the electric guitar now, (shout out: JDC trucking), and drop classes because I need to be less busy so that I can spend more time letting God "work" on me. I go to church. I sit around with christian kids and talk about semi-meaningless things. I listen. I value time with my family more, and time with friends. I am in a Microbiology class, which involves wearing a lab coat and goggles, I have $0 in my checking account, and I have black hair. All these things are good, and some are painful.

I was speaking with a good friend (who doesn't live here) via gchat this morning and she said that someone told her during a prayer meeting whilst praying for Haiti not to cry, that "she couldn't carry that burden..". And she said to me, "100,000 people died, and they were telling me not to cry?"

-pause-

"I'll cry forever."

Me too, I will too, its only right- The darkness and hardness of living, for me and for the Haitians, for India and for Jon, for the inmates at Knox County Correctional Facility, for abused wives, and children, for the homeless and the disabled and the poor and the ill and for YOU, it is not to be swept under the rug, ignored, or desperately avoided. Oh God! Let us cry! Have MERCY on us Lord and let us weep with grief!

Mother Teresa carried the burden that Jesus gave her, his burden, she carried it too, and she wept, she lived in a dark place often, but not without joy...just without stupidity i guess.

The things that I dream of are changing... bit by bit. Perhaps he is doing it.

Pray for Haiti...

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/01/earthquake_in_haiti.html

I took these.